by Elijah Haines
What is the Beard Competition? It can best be described as a mixture of Winter Carnival fever, beards, spandex, enthusiastic dancing and an utter disregard for personal dignity. Last Thursday afternoon, Fisher 135 filled with students, families and out-of-control facial hair. Fraternities, sororities, residence hall communities and student organizations all took part in the furry fun.
Nick Windmuller, the event’s organizer, described the Beard Competition as a collection of “skits without rules. It’s a chance [for students] to show off their facial hair while entertaining everyone.” The competitors have two months to grow the most outrageous facial hair possible and then present a skit to the judges and audience. The skits varied greatly in content. From the poetic “ode to the beard” recited by the Triangle fraternity to the stripping and dancing of the Sigma Phi Epsilon brothers, the Beard Competition had something for everyone. Many pop culture references had the audience cheering for more.
Interpretations of the SNL song, “Jizz in My Pants,” the film “Men in Tights” and Monty Python’s “Lumberjack Song” were some big hits with the crowd. The Air Force ROTC’s “Men in Black” performance and Delta Zeta’s “Dating Game” were also favorites.
Tight clothing seemed to be a popular theme among the skits and never ceased to draw laughs from the spectators. Some particularly revealing dresses worn by the gentlemen performing “The Whorehouse Three” caused an audience member to shout out, “How’d they squeeze them into that?”One of the most memorable jokes in the Beard Competition was presented in Delta Zeta’s skit: “Girls at Tech are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken and the rest of them are way out there.” Apart from a few shocked and horrified parents, the event went over very well, and the audience laughed as they exited and debated which competitor looked best in their dress, tights or speedo.